Painfully pruned, expecting much fruit

I just spent 3 weeks in Nigeria for a YWAM Leadership Training Course led by the founders, Loren and Darlene Cunningham.

It was a wild ride of extremes for me...the teaching was excellent, but the living situation was hugely challenging for me. I was housed in a hot, smelly, crowded, noisy dorm with 19 other women, zero privacy and zero consideration of whether or not someone else wanted to rest or sleep.

"Be thankful you have a bed," someone said. Yes, good point, but not necessarily helpful when I'm tired and cranky and have no quiet place to recharge.

I struggled with the food. Then I'm hearing stories of times when whole YWAM bases lived on soya beans for 40 days. Our diet wasn't quite that extreme, even if I did lose 5 pounds in 3 weeks.

I struggled with the climate. Hot and humid, my clothes were always sticking to me to the point where I developed a prickly heat rash all over my back. Then I'm hearing stories of running schools in unfinished buildings in the middle of winter and the students having to write while wearing gloves. At least I could shower and cool off a bit.

Those were just the struggles with the basic creature comforts.

Then there were the other challenges that made me feel undermined, unvalued and second-rate. I don't believe this was intentional or calculated...it probably went completely unnoticed...except by me.

One of the teachers commented in class that, "It's easy to say we want to be servant-hearted and that we're willing to serve others without recognition, but what about when others start to treat us like servants? How do we respond then?"

I had to seriously consider this question in light of my own situation, and came face to face with several other questions, "Who are you serving, after all? If you are doing this for Me, then what happens when you're not recognized, not appreciated, not valued? What happens if nobody cares whether or not you are comfortable or well fed? How will you respond if you are just a nobody in the eyes of those around you?"

Yes, I had learned all about Relinquishing My Rights on my DTS...I had said I would lay it all down and pick up my cross, nails and all, to follow Jesus. But I hadn't experienced what I felt was such a massive violation of "my rights" all at the same time like I did on this LTC, and I'm sorry to say I wasn't very eager to lay them down.

But I didn't have any choice...there were no options for me to change my situation: they wouldn't let me change rooms, I couldn't change the menu, and they wouldn't even let me put the fan on in our dorm room. I couldn't wave my CV around or expect total strangers to respect me...what made me any different from anyone else? Why should they grant me any favors?

All I could do was pray for grace, and He gave me that.

Now I'm home and trying to process it all. Although my instinct is to blot out the hardships from memory, I know God had lots of good lessons for me in those hardships. This morning I was reading John 15:1-17 and thinking, "If I ever thought I'd been pruned before, it was nothing compared to the LTC." God must have been doing some serious cutting back to the quick, because it felt like He stripped me to the bone to get rid of the superfluous and show me what I was made of. Looked like a lot of spineless jelly to me, but somewhere in the gloop I saw a tenacious hold on Christ that would not let go no matter the circumstances. Maybe that's the sticking power the leaders were talking about when they said, "Success is not quitting, no matter how hard it is."

If this truly was God pruning me, then I look forward to the 'much fruit' I will bear as a result. Like Beth Moore said, "No matter how scary it may seem, you can trust God with a pair of shears."

I'll write more about the amazing teachings, new friends, and faithful works of God in Nigeria when I've digested the hard stuff a bit more.

Was it all worth it? Definitely.

An unexpected gift for Bingi and I

This was an amazing gift for Bingi and I…

We had the opportunity to meet with the founder of Youth With A Mission…Loren Cunningham…to ask about his visits to East Africa.

For YWAM’s 50th Anniversary celebrations next year, the regional communication team for East Africa is putting together a visual documentary of the history of YWAM in East Africa. I am gathering information from all the bases in the region to establish when and where YWAM first came to East Africa and how it spread from there.

Since we are with Loren and Darlene right now in Nigeria, I thought it would be good to take the opportunity and find out when and where he first came to East Africa for our visual documentary.

I explained my purpose to one of the LTC staff who then arranged for me to have 15 minutes with Loren just before we started the evening session.

I took Bingi with me because I knew this would be our only opportunity to have a personal meeting with Loren and I didn't want her to miss out. When we got to the door and I knocked, she stopped and backed off saying, “I’m scared. I’m scared.”

“Come on!” I said. “This is your only chance to meet Loren personally!”

We went into the guesthouse and all the other LTC leaders were there finishing supper.

After a few minutes, Loren came out and sat with us in the living room. Then he started talking.

One by one the other LTC leaders headed off to class.

But Loren kept talking.

Soon it was only me and Bingi left.

And Loren kept talking.

Concious of the time, I half-heartedly tried to leave at least 3 times,

but Loren kept talking.

Two hours later, when the other LTC leaders started coming back from class, Bingi and I said our good-byes. We couldn’t believe we had been given a private audience with Loren Cunningham for 2 hours!!!

His stories were so inspiring, encouraging and thought-provoking…I have much to process and digest.

What an amazing blessing.

Thanks, Daddy!

Heading to Nigeria

Tonight I hop on the plane with Bingi Dorothy (another YWAMer from the Arua base), and we fly to Port Harcourt, Nigeria.













We will be attending a 3-week Leadership Training Course at the YWAM base, run by YWAM's co-founders Darlene and Loren Cunningham.

Darlene's vision...to help leaders develop their full potential in God.

My vision...to grow in my leadership gift and spend time at Jesus' feet soaking in His wisdom.





Over the last several years of serving on YWAM Arua's base leadership team, I've realized how very little I know about leading others. I'm pretty good at motivating myself and getting things done, but serving and mentoring others is a much greater challenge for me.

And yet following Jesus is all about relationship...we are the Body of Christ, after all, and I can't walk this journey alone.











There's a wonderful African proverb that always challenges me:

"If you want to go fast,
go alone.
If you want to go far,
go together."

My natural instinct wants to just do it all myself because I can get it done quicker, but my heart wants to do it as a team, which takes much longer and causes me no end of frustrations.

Please pray for me and Bingi, and the rest of the LTC staff and students, that God would meet each of us at our point of need, and bring the rest, refreshment and reinvisioning that we need to walk together and help lead this Body along His pathways.

Please also pray for John and the kids, and Bingi's family, that God would give them much grace, fun and joy over the next month while we are apart.

God's timing once again proves best

It's easy to get frustrated when things don't work out according to my schedule, but after 12 years of living in Africa, I thought I'd gotten pretty used to being 'flexible.'

This week it was harder.

I'd taken an overnight bus to Kampala Sunday night to be at the Nigerian High Commission at 10 am sharp on Monday. The plan was to apply for my visa, and then go back to Arua Monday night. Since I'm about to leave for a month, I wanted to spend as much time in Arua with my family as possible.

When we reached the High Commission, however, we were told it was closed for Eid (Muslim holiday)...come back Wednesday.

Well, that's easier said than done, especially when home is a 7 hour bus ride away. Why didn't God give me the heads up before I left Arua so that I could have postponed my trip a couple days and just gone down Tuesday night instead? Then I could've been back Wednesday night and had more time with my family.

Frustrated, I had no choice but to stay in Kampala and wait for the High Commission to re-open.

One of the things I'd been planning to do anyway was to look for a formica counter top to mount our kitchen sink in. After about an hour of searching, I found one, and since I had time, made arrangements to buy it the next day and take it to be cut so the sink would fit in it.

Meanwhile, the YWAM base in Nigeria called John to let him know that another of our YWAM Arua staff, Dorothy Bingi, had been accepted for the same Leadership Training Course that I am attending. That meant she needed to get to Kampala as soon as possible to process her visa. And since I was there waiting, why didn't she join me and we go to the High Commission together on Wednesday?

She also needed a plane ticket to and from Nigeria, without which it is difficult to get a visa. Since I 'just happened' to be waiting in Kampala, why didn't I go to the Kenya Airways office and get her ticket sorted out?

Yes...the 'extra' time on my hands turned out to be just what I needed to help Bingi process her plane ticket, and run around with that 3 meter formica board all over Kampala trying to get it cut and then packed on a lorry for transport to Arua. Looks like that 'extra time' wasn't extra at all, in God's calculations.

Regularly I tell God, "Let Your will be done. You program my schedule so that I do the things on Your heart." But when something gets in the way of my plans, I can easily question God and think something has gone wrong. I gave all the right replies to my friends' texts of sympathy...'Yeah, it's a bummer, but God must have a reason for the delay.' But in my heart, I wondered if I just hadn't heard Him right, or worse, if He just hadn't told me.



It's harder to trust God when things aren't going as I think they should, but again and again He proves to me that time is in His hands, and He knows how much I need to do the things He's called me to do.

And of course, generous Dad that He is, there was even enough time for me to go to Sparkles and get a pedicure. :)

The Riots in Kampala

It doesn't take much of a spark to ignite years of discontent simmering just below the surface. The King of the Buganda people was prevented from visiting part of his territory by the Ugandan government...the Buganda people got mad...next thing you know, cars are burning,
shops are looted,
people are dying.

See www.guardian.co.uk/katine/2009/sep/11/uganda-news

Rioters face off to the police

Our newest YWAM staff members...the Fielders, a family from Coventry, UK...had just arrived in Uganda with their 3 teenage kids. They were in the base vehicle with Yolam, a YWAM Arua staff member, and had stopped in Kampala to pick up some supplies before heading up to Arua.

Without warning, the vehicles in front of them started turning around and driving back the way they'd come from. A crowd of people started fleeing after the vehicles and before they knew it, the vehicle was surrounded by people running and shouting.







Someone stopped next to their car and jabbed the air next to the window, shouting, "You whites! Go back to your country. We don't want you here!"

This family just spent the last 18 months reorganizing their lives in the UK to be able to uproot and transplant themselves here in Uganda. They gave up their home, their car, their possessions...the last thing they needed to hear on jet-lagged arrival was "Go home."







But people are not themselves at times like these. Some demonic kind of mob mentality takes over and people do and say crazy things.

Apparently rioters stopped women, and those wearing skirts were let go, and those wearing trousers were stripped of their clothes. What exactly does wearing trousers have to do with the Kabaka not being allowed to visit Kayunga district?







Some missionary friends of ours from Arua drove to Kampala yesterday morning to take their son to the orthodontist. They didn't realize the gravity of the situation in Kampala until they came into town and drove along the empty, rubble-strewn streets. They counted 35 burning tires that they had to maneuver around. Thankfully they got to their guest house safely and hunkered down to wait.




Please pray for the situation in Kampala, and for the love of Jesus to transform these lives.

Please pray for the Fielders (who reached Arua safely!) as they settle in to the YWAM base and begin adjusting to life in Uganda. Their heart is to start a ministry to the deaf...see www.deafconnections.blogspot.com

Please pray for our missionary friends who are planning to drive back up to Arua tomorrow.

(Photos taken from Associated Press pics posted on the Guardian link above.)

Everything AND the kitchen sink

Usually when we travel as a family, we move with A LOT of luggage. British Airways not only gives us a sizeable missionary discount, but also gives us a luggage allowance of 3 bags per person...that means our family can fly with 15 pieces of check-in luggage (not to mention all the carry-ons)!

Last year when we were coming back from furlough, we had 13 pieces of luggage filled with medicines, toiletries, birthday and Christmas presents, books, music, videos, shoes, clothes, and anything else we felt we needed for the next 3 years before we were due to go back home on furlough again. When you're shopping for 5 people for 3 years, it's easy for the luggage to pile up and up and up. I thought we were doing good because we were under our maximum allowance.

Nevertheless, we needed two vehicles to get us to the airport with all our stuff, and then had to hire a porter with one of those long carts to pile up all our trunks and suitcases on. We really did look like the Beverly Hillbillies, and it was all I could do not to start explaining myself to the passengers lined up for check-in who stood bug-eyed and gape-jawed as we trundled up.

I wanted to say, "You know, we live in Africa in a very small town, and you can't get very much out there, so when we come home we have to stock up on all the things we need for 3 years at a time, so that's why we have so much stuff," blah blah blah. But I just kept quiet and avoided making eye contact with anyone.

When it came our turn to check-in, the porter bravely maneuvered our massive cartful of luggage to the check-in desk, and through the hushed awe of the rest of the people waiting in line, I distinctly heard one man say, "Where's the kitchen sink?"

Well, friend, HERE IT IS!


We picked this and the toilet seats up in Kampala when I came back from visiting my granny.

Oh how I wish we had been travelling with this last furlough, just to round things off, like the proverbial icing on the cake. Nevertheless, we were finally able to travel with everything AND our kitchen sink!

Vacation and God

Just a little thought about vacation and God...

We were in Mombasa (Kenya) on vacation last month, and I had gone out one morning to have a little time with God.

My scripture verse for that day talked about abiding in God, and I thought about it for a minute and said, "Yes, I abide in God."

"No you don't," He said.

Startled, I blurted out, "Yes I do! I'm here right now aren't I?"

"Yes," He said, "but how many days of vacation did it take before you came to have time with me?"

Gulp. "Ummm..."

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about." He said. "Abide means remain...stay...don't 'go on vacation' from me."

Ouch. "Sorry, Dad."

Then I thought about all the times John and I have gone on furlough, and spent long nights catching up with friends and family...too tired to get up in the mornings for our usual quiet times with God; too busy during the day to fit it in; too tired at night to try to meet with Him before bed. We end up taking a vacation from God, as if meeting with Him is somehow linked to a routine, a school calendar, or whatever.

I thought about this a bit more this last couple weeks when I was in the States. Seems common and normal for most of the church activities to go on hold during the summer...no care groups, no youth groups, no Bible studies. Lots of churches combine services and cut others out altogether. Sure, there are Vacation Bible Schools, and Church camps, and New Wine, and Spring Harvest, and all those things are great, but the regular meeting with God as individuals and groups is often paused.

Why do we do this, I wonder? Is it the activities that we tire of, that we need a break from? Is it too much to expect from ourselves to press into God without ceasing? And yet the Bible is so clear that we must remain in Him for Him to remain in us. We all know how it feels to drift away from the Word and from time with the Lord...how dry we get, how impatient and dissastisfied. Yet it's so easy to slip down that road.

What can we do to avoid this happening every summer...every furlough? Any ideas out there? I'm sure many of us would love to hear what others do to guard that special time with God.