Molding a lump of clay

Molding a lump of clay
I am a work in progress, molded by my Maker, refined by His fire, shaped with His love. Walk the journey with me.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Faith, or lack thereof

A Scottish preacher in the last century lost his wife suddenly,
and after her death he preached an unusually personal sermon.
He admitted in the message that he did not understand this life of ours.

But still less could he understand how people facing loss could abandon faith.
"Abandon it for what!" he said.
"You people in the sunshine may believe the faith,
but we in the shadow must believe it.
We have nothing else."

(Philip Yancey Reaching for the Invisible God, p. 61)

I'm in the shadow right now. I'm struggling with the waiting, with the trusting, with the hoping.

Why isn't God shining His light and revealing the thief? Why has He left us to suffocate under this massive crushing weight of depression, suspicion, fear and uncertainty? When is He going to vindicate His people and show us His salvation?

I know, I of little faith. Not even as big as a tiny little mustard seed...certainly nowhere big enough to order a mountain into the sea. Sorry to disappoint you all...I'm wallowing today.

"Storms are the triumph of God's art."

said poet George Herbert

Sorry, can't see much of the artistic value in this particular storm...just the big ol' muddy mess.

And yet, I don't want to give up. I'm not a quitter by nature...too stubborn.

"A living faith is nothing else than a steadfast pursuit of God
through all that disguises, disfigures, demolishes
and seeks, so to speak, to abolish him."
Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Though my enemies surround me, I will trust in the Lord my God. I must have faith because there is no other way through this storm. In this shadow I choose to continue believing.


Speaks said...

Vikki, I want to thank you once again for all your blogging. I always find it inspirational. I try not to use absolutes generally as I find most things in life are not, but I have consistently found myself challenged and uplifted by your insights, thoughts, emotions and those you quote. I know that it must take much time, effort & sacrifice to keep this going, but I would strongly encourage you to do so, for your self, for us and for Him who knows what you are going to say before you say it.

Anonymous said...

My sweet, sister. Sadly, I haven't been current with your blog. So, I'm reading about the recent theft right now. Wow. I am feeling such sadness for you and John and the entire YWAM community in Arua. Thank you for being so vulnerable with your truest feelings. I am praying for you all that God shows Himself strong in such a dark moment in time. I love you, Lis

Christy said...

So sorry to hear the news. We are praying for you and the entire situation. I can't wait to hear how God resolves this and how he brings glory to Himself through it. But I know right now it just seems like... as you put it... mud. Wow. I appreciate your transparency.

Psalm 27:13-14 says "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD: be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

I hope that gives you a bit of encouragement. We will continue praying....


Mark said...

Hey Vikki, that was really good to share these thoughts and feelings. I know it must have been hard to find these things gone through robbery and stealing... "But I will put my trust in God"... We are going through some difficult times as well with our things here ie paying bills and slates came of the roof of our house and finding money to pay him too... Our hoover gave up and still no money to get a new one!!!!...."But I will put my trust in God"..... and will continue to trust God for our financial money. Read Psalm chp 23 "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the path of righteousness. For His name sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil. For you are with me. Your rod are and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the present of my ememies. You annoint my head with oil. My cup runs over. Surley goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever"

Isn't that great "surley goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." I love this verse and I want to walk with God and also "And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" yup that is for me too!!!. Praise God. Take care Viki, send my love to John, Mark...