His mercies are new every morning

A week ago today I was in quite a state....sick, depressed, unmotivated. I was scheduled to teach starting Monday for a week on the Discipleship Training School. Topic: the Holy Spirit.

I'd started loading up on vitamins and lemsips, and slathered my chest and throat with Vick's. I had a scarf wrapped around my neck and was huddled up in bed with my teaching notes, propped up with 3 pillows, sucking on Strepsils and trying not to cough. Let's just say it: pathetic.

I looked pathetic,
I felt pathetic,
and I was within seconds of calling Bosco and asking him to get another teacher.

And then Sunday afternoon, I started losing my voice.

Great. Just what I needed.

But then I realized...if God really wants me to teach, it's totally up to Him now, 'cuz I can hardly even speak.

Monday morning rolled around and I tested my voice...cracky and scruffy but audible. So I got myself organized and went to class. That first session was a tough one, but as the morning went on I felt lighter, happier. Physically, though, it shattered me...I went home, took 2 ibuprofen and slept for 2 hours.

The rest of the week was more of the same, with every day God giving me just enough strength to get through the teachings, and although it was physically draining, I felt a breakthrough spiritually and emotionally.

Hope had returned.

And then Thursday evening, on my way to the dining hall for supper, I was blessed with the most beautiful double rainbow arching it's way across the sky...one side seemed to disappear right into the classroom where I'd spent the week teaching. My heart just filled with joy and awe at the majesty of God.

The rainbow reminded me that God's promises never fail, and He doesn't delay in keeping them.

But I also had my part to play...

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what He has promised.
For in just a very little while,
'He who is coming will come and will not delay.
But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.'
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,
but of those who believe and are saved.
Heb 10: 35-39

It's another Sunday, today...this one is bright and shiny. I'm making cookies, listening to music and thinking, 'Though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning.'

I don't want to be one of those who shrink back and are destroyed...I want to be one who perseveres and does the will of God, especially when I'm sick and depressed. I don't want to be a fair weather Christian, but one who believes and is saved, no matter what the circumstances are around me.

But only with God's grace...one thing I've relearned this week...I can't do it on my own. I don't want to do it on my own. I want to live my life led by the Spirit and empowered to do God's will as I live beyond my own abilities. It's a scary place to be, but He is worthy.