A bit of a moan and a self-pep talk

It's another one of those days... I feel myself slipping into a melancholic state, and I'm trying desperately not to give in to it.

John's been in Sudan since last Monday, so I've been doing double-duty as a parent, and trying to keep up with all the communications and decision-making that he would normally do. None of this is new to me, so that shouldn't be a big deal.

But I also have to keep my programs running, and this week we had 2 special events in the prison ministry that aren't in my normal weekly routine. One was to collect Simon, a prisoner we have been working closely with, from the prison gate when he was released on Tuesday and take him home. The other was to visit the women's prison and introduce ourselves and the Alpha Course. We hope to start the course there with them next Thursday.

So life is a little busier than usual...that's fine. I can cope.

But then throw into the mix a farewell party for some friends who are leaving Arua.


Katie (on the right) and I (center) have become very close in the last couple of months...it's one of those friendships where you recognize a spiritual twin. We've shared deeply and prayed hard, and seen God working miracles in our lives.

And now she's leaving.

She's planning and praying about coming back longer term in September with her family, but it's not a guarantee.

I struggle with this coming and going business. Next to having to leave behind parents and siblings and extended relatives and miss out on all the milestones of family life, the second hardest part of missions isn't the pit latrines or malaria or dial-up internet...it's having to say 'good-bye' again and again to yet another friend who shared life for a season

and then was gone.

I've just been getting to know Susana (above with me and Katie), my little Spanish prayer partner, and now she's also about to leave.





And Rianne (on my left), a sweet Canadian girl that I trained with and ran the MTN 10k with, only has one more week here.









Yes, there's always e-mail, and both of these ladies plan to come back, but it's still a grieving process when they go, not knowing for sure what plans God has for them,

because His, after all, are the ones that count.

So I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps,

and then my little girl gets sick.

Vomiting, diarhea, the whole nine yards. She's in a lot of pain, but there's not much I can do for her. Seems like a stomach bug is going around because many people are complaining of the same thing, so I dose her up with pain reliever, make her mint tea, and keep rushing her to the bathroom whenever she starts doubling up in cramps. She's only 3, so there's a lot of whining and crying going on, which grates on my nerves at the best of times, but now feels like sharp claws scraping away at the very tiny amount of patience I have left. I know she's sick, so I give her grace, but it's still killing me. I look at the clock...

'only 2 hours 18 minutes 'til bedtime.'

Then my stomach starts getting crampy. It hasn't developed into the full-blown sickness, yet, and I'm praying it won't, because then we'd be in a right mess. My kids need me to be healthy more than ever right now.

I'm not all that surprised with the sequence of events, though...seems like we regularly face challenging situations when John goes away, especially when his trip is highly sensitive. And because I'm kind of used to it, it's easier to fall back on God and say, "Here we go again, Dad! Just tell me what you want me to do...

I'm trusting you for another victory."

This morning my pastor was talking about Joshua leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, and he was reminding us of God's promise to Joshua, that He would give him every place where he set his foot. Although the victory was certain for Joshua,

he still had to fight against the enemies living in Canaan.

Right now, I'm looking at all the amazing things God is doing in the prison ministry, and I know He has given us victory, but we still have to fight the battles. I still have to find strength in the Lord, even when my husband's gone, and my friends are leaving and my children are sick. Because no matter what the circumstances, I am not alone. God will never leave me nor forsake me, whether I'm in the heat of battle,

or munching on grapes and honey.

He is with me wherever I go.